Feeling Like A Failure in Graduate School
This is one topic many people don’t really think about before graduate school. Most people start their journey thinking they will perform outstanding research, discover great things, and hit all milestones at the right time. We think to ourselves, “Jaxson found graduate school hard, but no, that can’t happen to me.” I also thought the same way. I knew there were going to be a few ups and downs, but deep down I believed it was going to be a smooth experience. Now in my 4th year, I’ve come to realize that all the grand ideas I had about my experience haven’t really played out as expected.
Why do I sometimes feel like I am failing in graduate school? Well, there are a number of reasons:
My project’s progress is slow
I haven’t found my graduate school community
I work hard, but I don’t see the products of my hard work
I constantly feel like I have so much to do in so little time
Other reasons why people feel like they are failing in graduate school are:
Being a teaching assistant is difficult
Experiments keep failing
Rejection of a paper for publication
Relationship with research advisor is tough
Research isn’t as exciting
If you’re reading this and you are experiencing any of what I have mentioned, I SEE you. Every now and then, it is very easy to feel like we are failing because things aren’t just working and it’s honestly very hard. I won’t say I have any solutions to what we are facing, however, I have been able to identify some practices that have been helpful:
1) I review my expectations: One reason people feel like they are failing is because they are not meeting the expectations they set for themselves or the expectations people set for them. It is always advisable to review and adjust one’s goals or to-do list if possible.
2) I try not to compare myself to others: In graduate school, we all have different projects that progress differently. However, at the end of the day, we will all end up at the same finish line (graduation).
3) I do things that are rewarding: I find that engaging in activities that are rewarding has really helped me. An example will be participating in the planning or execution of something you are passionate about. I discovered that when I participate in or plan STEM outreaches, post a blog on my website, help students with their graduate school applications, or read a book, I feel better. Find time to do something rewarding.
4) I talk to my advisor: Believe it or not, many advisors have experienced what their students are going through. Sharing your thoughts with your advisor can help. A good advisor will encourage you, they may also help you identify areas that can improve your progress. Personally, you will also feel like a weight has been lifted knowing that your advisor is aware of what you are going through.
5) I talk positively about my experience: When people ask how things are going, don’t be quick to be so negative. You can be honest with them but sprinkle some positivity in there. I found that this really helps me.
6) I attend graduate student events on campus: This is a great way to meet people going through similar experiences as you.
7) Therapy: Therapy is always good. It can help you deal with what you are facing in graduate school and/or what you’re facing in your personal life.
I really hope these few tips are helpful. If you need to talk, I will be more than happy to hear you vent.
Keep pushing, we got this!